you will never know i

disorder

Tue, 17 Feb 2009 00:53:18 GMT

i think i meant disarray.

so david and i broke up.

it was messy in that our exact status kept changing over the week and in the end he just couldn't love me enough or want to be with me, and there really has been ilona and always will be, at least until he sees what happens with that, and he just wants to be single even if he still loves me so he can be free of any responsibility to anyone.

i really couldn't do anything last week but lay in bed and cry. i did leave the house once to drive around and smoke and ended up at mike and lizs. i took up smoking just for the week. i couldn't sleep or eat.

david came this weekend to give me back some of my things and held me and kissed me and i ate and felt better. we won't be together but i needed that. i slept all day sunday. i hadn't slept in a week. when he came to visit i slept all day beside him. i could always sleep with david, at least i had a fighting chance. insomnia is my nemesis.

he's gone now and i'm sort of feeling like a non entity. i need to finish all of my law school applications, like now, but i sort of don't see the point. i don't really want to go anymore. i don't really want to do anything. i don't care if that sounds pathetic, because i want what i want and it's no one else's right to judge me.

i can choose to have no ambition and decide i've failed at enough things that i don't want to try anymore.

i am watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and wearing my eternal sunshine orange sweatshirt. not to be ironic and wallowing but just because we had pickedout all of these romantic movies to watch on vday and didn't obviously watch them all, so i put this one on.

as for love, i don't know if i care. i sort of thought i was mildly and mostly intellectually attracted to this december guy, if in a cautious and deeply buried way but i guess it turns out we don't go together as well as i thought.

december and march, how is that supposed to work?

he seems a bit to quick to thaw, anyhow, for a winter month, and not for me.

been recording music. not really writing any. i have wanted to write creatively a lot but feel obligated to finish the law school applications which i am reticent to do for many reasons, so i get nothing done.

and now, so as not to seem like a total downer,

i really did honestly have a lovely weekend. it was really nice to be with david again even if it was horrible to say goodbye. it was nice to eat again, as well, and to get some sleep. and to watch lots of movies and just hang out.

i had an odd moment when i looked in the mirror and thought, this was the last year i could have gotten married and been a beautiful bride. but maybe i have to give that one up. ya give things up.

oh crap i forgot to pay my rent!

i rarely visit livejournal anymore (public version)

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 09:06:53 GMT

maybe this year will be better.

How To Survive The Economic Crisis

Fri, 14 Nov 2008 16:39:11 GMT

Okay new blog. I keep losing sleep because I stay up all night writing... Surely that can't be good.

How To Survive The Economic Crisis

In this one I basically summarize the shit storm, introduce 5 solutions proposed by various sources (Forbes, eHow.com, a couple of others) and give my own thoughts on these suggestions. Some of it is dead serious, some of it is dead satirical. Well, not dead serious. And I don't think there's such thing as dead satirical.

Well, anyway...

If you like it, digg it. I'm new so I have zero diggs!

Thank you.

Excerpt:

Times are tough. Yesterday, November 13, 2008, was a depressing day on Wall Street. The Dow dropped a record 5.17%, NASDAQ fell 411 points, and Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson announced that the original bailout plan to purchase troubled assets from banks was no longer an option. The administration now plans to pursue an alternative course of action- to spend 250 billion dollars on stock in the banks, encourage them to keep giving out loans without financial backing and… hope for the best? On the other hand, the plan does not stipulate that the banks MUST use this money for lending. So basically, the government is buying up 250 billion dollars of stock in banks that could potentially save the money to earn interest, making a profit for the shareholders. What? All but 60 billion of 350 billion dollars originally authorized in bailout money has already been spent- soon the remaining 400 billion will have to be requested.

The If Girl Assesses the Validity and Likely Success Factor of Various Proposals Regarding the Survival of the Economic Crisis

stolen from... oh crap, i forgot her lj name.

Thu, 30 Oct 2008 06:42:45 GMT

i'm going to guess... kittenjazzygirl

jazzkitty1?

crap. i'm no expert, but i'm pretty sure we're not supposed to use each others' real names on lj because i always see everyone else using the lj names. but i never memorize them.

anyway, you google image halloween (year you were born in) and paste the best pic from the first page:

no! i am confusing jazzylatte with kittysomething!

it's kittysomething!

kyttensomething!

damnit!

ps- read my new blog! http://theifgirl.wordpress.com

and then vote for me on tuesday.

new blog up theifgirl.wordpress.com: comparison of candidates

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 22:56:07 GMT

i shit you not. of course, it also contains my trademark commentary, but sometimes i make a valid point. i assume. the law of averages is in my favor.

here it is; if you love me you'll click, because it encourages me to follow my dream and write more.

if you hate me you'll click, because you'll get to find out how i really feel about some stuff that's really important to me and use it to make me look bad in front of other people, or just laugh at me.

if you're in different to me, click anyway, because reading it will stave off alzheimer's for another couple of days. i was researching alzheimer's for another piece.

The If Girl: Give Em the Boot, the Write-In, the Radical

first paragraph teaser:

"I question my choice of title for this treatise, but I was adamant about both using the word “radical” and quoting a cherished song from my youthful days of joint rolling, Marlboro Reds smoking, Slurpee drinking junior high days on the sunny side of the Long Island Railroad tracks."

over/out

me, me, me

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:35:51 GMT

oh- and if you like my writing at all, PLEASE don't hesitate to mention my blog to a friend or repost this vid, or spell out the name of the website in christmas lights in the town square or something. i'm finding it extremely difficult to reach out to people i don't already know. how the devil does one get one's writing read by the general public these days? i want to be published, confound it.

it's come to this.

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:07:09 GMT

i apologize for my lameness.
also, the blurriness was on purpose but the other "effects" were actually really weird defects that the blurriness was meant to distract from.

new blog up.

Sun, 14 Sep 2008 23:53:10 GMT

hey all.

wrote a new political essay.

the title is inflammatory, the content, i would hope, is somewhat less so, although i acknowledge that my strong opinions and tendency towards playing devil's advocate may be offensive to some.

this one is about how barack obama's is losing ground to john mccain in relation to the media coverage sarah palin is receiving, how the snl sketch from last night and other positive and negative attention contributes, the influence of SNL on politics in general, and whether he will be able to regain his status.

<a href="http://theifgirl.wordpress.com/2008/09/14/who-killed-barack-obama/">Celebrities and Heroes: Who Killed Barack Obama?</a>

Thank you kindly,

Dana

warning: you might not like this one

Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:31:04 GMT

Hey all.

I have a new political essay up on my blog The If Girl, in response to "The Palin Letter", a spammed letter that's circulating the internet slamming Sarah Palin. I'm not a Palin supporter, but you know me.

Talky talk, writey writey, opiniony opinion.

Anyway, I would be honored if you would check it out, and more so if you shared your own opinion, as it's usually the case that no one shares mine ;)

Here's the link:

Dear Letter: Palin, Gender Bias, A Dubious Defense

i saved your baby from a burning building; now you owe me

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 00:44:21 GMT

(that never happened.)

but this is the deal.

an old timey buddy from boston's band's video is in this deal where if they get the most clicks on their video on this website, they get to open for coldplay.

and apparently they're in second place.

so to make up for the time i convinced your wife not to cheat on you,

(that never happened)

go to this website:

www.coldplayontour.com/wfnx

and click on the SECOND video.

thanks, buddies.

-Dana

ps- if you've ever watched the very ghetto short film i made before i moved to LA in which my future self appears to me to convince me not to kill myself so that my future self can kill myself after I move to LA, you will recognize the song in my buddy's video from that film.

that DID happen.

my film: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSVGVRismkA>my guardian angel</a>

ugh

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 07:33:16 GMT

old stuff from myspace:

march 30th news update

i have a job now, looking things up on the internet so people can put them into a television set- others will watch this blinking box, i'm told, and extract enjoyment therefrom.

i love my job, which is ironic, because i think work is an evil construct of society designed to keep the masses from rising above and achieving greatness.

this is of course no longer true.

i've been unemployed for over a month.
it's been very hard to get another job and it will be well over a month before i find another one.

this industry sucks.

blog update

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 21:34:11 GMT

i haven't been in a while, but for those interested in supporting me or in reading blogging in general, i have posted two recently.

one is the prince harry/ prince hal one, which i admit i wrote while sort of high on the flu and also a crush on both princes.

the other is about an eharmony.com misadventure i had while not really looking to meet anyone online.

that's all for now. i may add more later, but the issue is basically that i keep writing them and deciding that they're not good enough to post on the blog that nobody reads anyway.

and in the words of charlie day,

"that's politics, bitch."

theifgirl.wordpress.com

i write funny! me good laugh words are intelligently!

-dana

and THAT'S...

Thu, 21 Feb 2008 23:25:59 GMT

...why the sox will never win the series.

god, i love the smell of mixed metaphors in the morning.

i am learning italian now

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 04:04:33 GMT

oh, okay

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 22:37:59 GMT

You Are a Hunter Soul

You are driven and ambitious - totally self motivated to succeed

Actively working to achieve what you want, you are skillful in many areas.

You are a natural predator with strong instincts ... and more than a little demanding.

You are creative, energetic, and an extremely powerful force.

An outdoors person, you like animals and relate to them better than people.

You tend to have an explosive personality, but also a good sense of humor.

People sometimes see you as arrogant or a know it all.

You tend to be a bit of a loner, though you hate to be alone.

Souls you are most compatible with: Seeker Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

you guys, it's totally not worth it...

Mon, 24 Dec 2007 05:49:21 GMT

it all means something

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 07:00:23 GMT

What The Holidays Mean to You

For you, the holidays are about emotional connections and bonds. You are happiest being around those you love.

You celebrate the holidays in an over the top style. If something is cute, you'll buy it. People end up with a lot of gifts from you - and your house is like a holiday wonderland, full of decorations.

During the holidays, you like to feel cozy and comfortable. You're happy to stay inside with a roaring fire and a warm drink.

You think the holidays should be comforting and relaxing. You don't like the holiday rush... you just like the simple pleasure of the holidays.

Your favorite holiday memories strongly evoke your senses. You are vividly aware of all the tastes, smells, and sounds of the holidays.

What Do the Holidays Mean to You?

my movie

Sat, 22 Dec 2007 06:58:43 GMT

Your Christmas is Most Like: A Christmas Story

Loving, fun, and totally crazy.

Don't shoot your eye out!

What Movie Is Your Christmas Most Like?

i just like this.

Sat, 15 Dec 2007 01:21:43 GMT

here's the tricky part

Thu, 29 Nov 2007 06:51:39 GMT

Lets101 - online free dating

pro soldier, anti-war

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 23:22:16 GMT

...and pro writer, anti-union.

not a very popular opinion, i am well aware.

sesame street warning label

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 19:52:54 GMT

this is the funniest article i've read in a very long time. well done, NY Times!

Sweeping the Clouds Away

nameses

Wed, 14 Nov 2007 22:07:36 GMT

10. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother & father's middle name)
Pauline Joseph

9. NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, fathers dad)
John Dominic

8. STARWARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, 2 letters of your first)
Melda

7. DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, fav animal)
Brown Phoenix

6. SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Marie Somerville

5. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Black Mimosa

4. FLY GIRL/GUY NAME: (1st letter of 1st name, 1st 3 letters of your last name)
D Mel

3. GANGSTA NAME: ( fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Chocolate Chip (wow.)

2. ROCK STAR NAME: (current pets name, current street name)
Maggie Bloomfield

1. PORN STAR NAME: (first pets name, street name you grew up on)
Sammy Sky High

you have no respect for logic

Tue, 13 Nov 2007 01:27:50 GMT

and i have no respect for those with no respect for logic.
-Arnold Schwarzenegger, Twins

This movie rocks.

gift cards

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 00:18:15 GMT

okay, i am hard to get gifts for i guess, and i get a lot of gift cards. only i haven't been using them lately. and i just stumbled upon my gift card collection. they fill up an entire wallet.

i am missing my best buy gift card, which is sad. but i still have a lot...

this is what i have:

amc theatres (one card)
ann taylor (one card)
crate and barrel (one card)
pier one imports (one card)
starbucks (three cards)
target (one card)
victoria's secret (three cards)
visa gift card (one card)
whole foods (one card)

time to go shopping!